2014 was a big year for me. More opportunities presented themselves, more things changed, and more events occurred than in any time of my life prior. It's time for me to review some of the big points; to reflect on what went well and what didn't.

Interning at IBM

When I applied for internships in December of 2013, I wasn't sure what would happen. I applied to big names – Google, Microsoft, IBM, and others as I did the year prior. In 2012-2013, I got no responses. In 2013-2014, I got many. My applications to both Google and IBM were accepted, Riot Games asked for an interview (which I unfortunately had to decline because I'd already accepted IBM's offer), and Microsoft ignored my existence (maybe because my resumé is slathered in Linux tooling and has not a whiff of Microsoft on it).

I struggled for weeks with the decision between Google and IBM. Working at Google is a dream job, but there was a catch: the project I would be working on there was boring. Meanwhile, the project I was offered at IBM was really cool and exciting. At the time, it involved significant open-source contributions. Although it changed later, the change helped refine the project goals and clarify what my team would be doing.

In the end, I chose IBM. I was both looking forward to and dreading starting there at the end of May. What if I had chosen incorrectly? Once we got started, however, all my doubt vanished. The project turned out to be just as exciting as it had sounded. Even better: I had the pleasure of working with a phenomenal group of people. On the IBM side, we had a fantastic manager (Ross Grady) and great support from the group we were working with.

On the intern side, things couldn't have been better. My team was phenomenal: John and Walker were (and are) great technically, and all four of us (me, John, Walker, and Chris) worked together without even a hint of an issue throughout the Summer. What's more, I was surprised at how welcome I felt in the intern group. I've never been very comfortable socially, and yet by the end of the Summer there is but one that I'd not call a friend.

The biggest benefit of the internship for me was not the technical knowledge I gained, the skills I developed, money I made. It was the opportunity to work with these people. Prior to this, I had never had the chance to work with other programmers. I'd worked in a research lab, but that is a very different focus. Seeing how capable my fellow interns were and realizing that I was actually capable of keeping up with them was a tremendous confidence boost for me.

I have no regrets about my decision to work at IBM this past Summer. I came out of it knowing more, having more friends and contacts, and with several offers for positions at IBM. I ended up declining all of them to pursue a PhD, but set up an internship with one of the security software teams for Summer 2015.

The Interview

In the middle of the Summer, I got a wholly unexpected phone call: a Google recruiter contacted me about interviewing for a full-time position. At the time, my plans for the future were undecided but leaning heavily towards the pursuit of a PhD. I told him that I would be willing to talk more after the Summer ended, when I had more time.

When I followed up with him in August/September, things moved rapidly. I was able to skip the phone interviews because I'd done well enough on the ones for the internship to receive an offer. I got to fly to California and do interview in person! Working full-time at Google requires passing a high bar, so being interviewed indicates that I may be close to it.

In the end, I did not receive an offer. However, I was thrilled at the thought that I might be capable of reaching and surpassing the skill level needed for entry. This also forced me to mentally work out how to deal with serious rejection. I have been generally successful throughout my life, and hadn't had any rejection on this level before. I am glad that it came at a time when I had the opportunity to stop and think about it, rather than a super-busy season.

The Fulbright Program

I also began working on an application to the Fulbright U.S. Student Program in the summer. This program – if I were accepted – would let me study at a school almost anywhere in the world. The program grant covers one year, but I will be able to build a case for financial aid and visa for continuing on should I desire.

The application for this is for the most part not too bad. However, the two essays that go along with it (Personal Statement & Statement of Purpose) were especially difficult. I had never written anything like them before and was ill-prepared to do so. The advisor at UK was incredibly helpful in this, and I believe that I ended up with a competitive application. Regardless, I spent a solid month and a half thinking about nothing else. This prepared me well to write the statements for grad school applications, but was a significant time sink.

The worst part about this application is that I won't know the result until March of this year, while the deadline was September of last year. The long waiting period is killer, and is a problem I am facing in other areas as well.

Graduate School Applications

This is where I made my biggest mistake of the year: I did not work on grad school applications on Thanksgiving break. I took the week off: I slept, I played video games, I wrote code. I did not apply to grad school. Because of this, I was ill-prepared to meet the popular 15 December deadline. I was more prepared to meet the 1 January deadline that others have, but between the insanity of finals week (15-20 Dec.) and Christmas, ended up being largely tardy with that as well. (Also, far fewer schools have the later deadline)

I learned in 2012/2013 not to wait so long. I made a point of doing internship applications in '13 on Thanksgiving break so as to not miss deadlines. I learned the lesson, and then in arrogance forgot it. I applied to four schools: MIT, Texas A&M, UFlorida and UKansas. I have already been accepted into UKansas (0.0), but we'll see what happens.

I probably won't hear back from the other three schools until mid-March. I will have little enough time to make a decision, and will have to start planning for the Fall immediately. What really gets me is simply the waiting period. I do not know what will happen. I cannot realistically make any plans for or assumptions about after the summer until March. It sucks. I don't like it.

Goals for 2014

I didn't really set goals for 2014. One that I stumbled upon through meditation on Tom Shear's (Assemblage 23) Otherness. This is a long-term goal: be a better person. I started trying to write down a concrete list of this while writing this blog post, but I will need to think about it more. I realize how incredibly wishy-washy 'be a better person' is, and need to nail it down so I know what I'm going for. Details will be a blog post sometime in the next week.

Looking Forward: Goals for 2015

I am not a fan of New Years resolutions, and thus have none. However, over the course of last semester I became of several deficiencies in my overall behavior. In particular: my aversion to lists and my inconsistency.

Lists are helpful tools, yet I often do not use them. I saw how my dad became dependent on his lists to remember things and suppose I overreacted. I started keeping lists of assignments and due dates during this semester, and it helped reduce the number of times that I missed an assignment due to forgetfulness.

This is one method of moving towards my present goal: becoming more consistent. Self-discipline is not one of my strong points, but I have been working on improving. The impact of this will be better control over what I buy, what I eat, and how I spend my time. It meshes well with my goal of 'be a better person' (lol), as control will allow me to be who I want to be.

I have a long way to go.